Who is Krampus you might ask? In some European folklore, Krampus is the opposite of the pure-hearted Santa Claus. With devil horns and goat hooves, Krampus is famous for kidnapping bad children and beating them for being naughty little brats. But what would it take for, I dunno, YOU to be taken by Krampus?
Let’s look at what makes a kid “naughty” in Krampus’s eyes.
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Disobedience: The biggest factor for a kidnapping. If you’ve found yourself saying no to your parents when they ask for your help or talking over your teacher in class, you can pretty much tell your life goodbye.
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Lying: If you’ve stopped telling the truth and started spreading rumors, sorry, but you’re dead. I don’t make the rules.
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Stealing: From grand theft auto to picking up a dollar bill that fell out of someone’s pocket, Krampus will know. If you’re caught stealing, then you’re getting stolen.
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Bullying: You don’t even have to be bullying something physically! If you tease your friends a little too hard or even send them a mean-spirited TikTok, Krampus will ban you from this plain of existence.
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Lack of Respect: Krampus has a history of stealing children who are mean to their elders, so be nice to your senior friends this holiday season unless you want a one-way ticket into Krampus’ sack.
If you hit even one of these criteria, you can expect a certain hoof-having, sack-carrying, horn-on-his-head demon coming down your chimney this Christmas Eve. But its not too late for you. If you behave well for the remainder of Winter, there might be a slim chance you’ll make it to the New Year. But until then, keep one eye open.
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